Being of Sound Mind and Body I Spent It All -- Go Get Your Own!

My father was fond of telling us that his will would say the above. I only wish that he had lived long enough to make it come true.

And now that the Republicans, Democrats, Proposition Supporters, and various others have done their duties and the election is over, it is time to be needled by every charitable cause under the sun. Everybody seems to want my money. And I know that this year has been and will continue to be very hard for the shelters and food banks, but just because there is more need does not necessarily mean that I can afford to give more to meet that need.

I have been inundated with requests for donations of late. The Public Safety groups call nightly, the charities send letters daily (which makes me wonder where they are spending the money they do get -- administrative costs or the charitable purpose?), the Young Women are selling calendars to raise money for next year's girls' camp, the Young Men are putting on breakfasts and will soon be taking lawn aerating orders (their camp fundraiser), the ward is collecting food for the local food bank, everyone seems to think that I need to have my house inspected or fumigated or have my gutters cleaned, my nieces and nephews are selling various things (magazines, candy, girls scout cookies), and my clients are now hitting us up for their kids' choir trip to China or some other thing. I'm tired of it all.

Now I must be careful as one of the above is a dear niece that kindly asked me to support her band and get a magazine subscription. Since she was the first to ask and did so nicely, my wife and I decided that we would start getting Reader's Digest again. So I don't want her (or her mother) to think that I am complaining about her because I am not. But the situation started me to thinking about fundraising efforts in general.

Why are we subjected to having to purchase some product so that the kids can go to camp or get new uniforms or build a new wing on the music building? Why can't I just give them the $20 directly and not get a box of candy I shouldn't eat? And don't give me that "you could give it away" stuff -- if I don't think I should eat it, why is it OK to give it to someone I care about as a token of my affection? It isn't OK. It's insincere. "Here, I don't care to eat this crap, but I know how much you like to eat crap and I don't care about you staying healthy or getting diabetes, so enjoy." Nope. It's just a little worse than the feeling I get when I re-gift the wine my clients send me. "I don't drink wine since I believe it is a sin and unhealthy, but I know you like to get hammered, so here's some more for your disgusting habit."

But the kids are told, actually trained by the idiots who put together these "fundraisers", to not accept direct donations. In some cases, they are told that it is illegal to do so. What a racket! The magazine publishers get a bunch of kids to hock their stuff at $20 per subscription and they turn around and give the school or group a few pennies per subscription sold.

I remember selling jackets for the track team and then later for the band. And we sold candles for the band. In fact, entrepreneur that I was, I sold candles during a blackout. Unfortunately, we were only taking orders, so the sales pitch became more of "if you had bought these candles last month, you wouldn't be in the dark now". It would have been better to have a set of candles on hand. But oh well.

My sister and I pooled our sales of candles one year and qualified for a "promotional gift". I still have that tape case. It's still full of the tapes we kept in the old Volvo we drove to school. Ah, music from the 80's. But that's just another piece of the racket -- give aways as incentive to hock as much stuff as possible. And it works for the kids. Obviously, it worked on us.

But here's my point -- why should I feel guilty if I don't support your thing? How is it that you feel justified in giving me a guilt trip? Charity should be done in private. I am a fairly charitable person, both with my time and with my money, but often done anonymously (which I really like best -- it isn't right to gloat because you helped someone -- let them never know). I give to causes where I know that the funds are going directly to the people that need it. This is why most of my charity is done through the fast offerings donations. My father used to quote President Kimball (I think), that in relation to fast offerings we should give more, and in some cases, much more. We give a lot more than just the cost of a couple of meals and since I am the ward financial clerk, I know where those funds are going and who they are helping. They help the ones closest to you -- the ones in your ward and stake first. Excess funds are sent to Salt Lake for world-wide distribution, but much of the funds collected, at least in my ward, are used locally.

I am not blind to the suffering of others. I will give what I can to the food shelters and such. But stop pressuring me. Stop expecting me to be the one to bail you out. Times are tough all over. My own little family had some trials this year and the medical bills were not cheap. I won't be filing for bankruptcy, but the hospitals and doctors and ambulances all came with a stiff cost. Granted, I'd rather pay them than an undertaker (which could have been the option). In fact, I would pay anything to keep my son alive, so there are no complaints. But, cash is a little tighter this year for many reasons.

I guess I'm just griping. And there is little need for it. But sometimes we have to vent. And usually when I vent to people they eventually just tune me out. So here I vent and moan and if you don't want to listen, I'll never know the difference.

Happy Holidays -- because even in these economically challenged times, there are things for which we can give thanks and celebrate. No need to go overboard. No need to spread fear and doom. Just raise a glass of something tasty and pledge to make the next day, the next month, the next year a little better. If you can't give some cash, then give some time. Call someone you love and tell them so. Don't waste the only asset everyone gets the same amount of everyday -- time. But spend it all -- it can't be saved. "Time saving" devices don't save time -- they just make life more busy. We use a lot of time trying to save time and we are more busy now than ever before and yet we don't accomplish very much. Maybe we should just do something with our hands and our hearts and stop trying to be everything until we become nothing. We talk more now than ever before but we say a lot less. Maybe we should say what we mean most and then just shut up and listen.

And lastly, live long and prosper. Because the alternative is die young and destitute. And that just isn't as much fun.