Home to Energy recently wrote about trying to explain the American Middle Finger Salute to her six-year-old and finding that this conversation only leads to a discussion of "the birds and the bees" (which she was graciously spared by possibly divine intervention). Granted, I laughed until I had tears when I read (and then again shared) this account. But it got me to thinking about rude hand gestures and why they evolve.
I am only guessing here, but I would assume that The Middle Finger is probably anatomical in origin as is the British and Australian V (backwards "peace" sign). The Asian "got your nose" gesture and the South American "OK" sign probably also fit into this category. And all of them are rude sexual references. But the French Thumb Nail Bite and Beard Flip make no sense to me at all (eh, they are French -- what more explanation do you need?).
My office manager mentioned that when she was a child her older sister explained to her that the middle finger gesture was "all of the bad words rolled up into one". And that is as good an explanation as any for a child's understanding. I don't think that children need to know that a middle finger is a rude sexual gesture, per se, but just that it is as bad a gesture as it can be. Truth be told, gestures are not usually literal anyway; although, I was once propositioned by a hooker in Korea with the "got your nose" gesture -- and yes, I am sure that she meant "come on up and see me" and not just "get the heck out of here you stupid American". But that one incident aside, usually the gestures are just meant to be rude. Thus, a vague explanation of "it's a very bad gesture" is not inaccurate.
It is also interesting to me that when people want to be the most mean to each other they suggest that the other person engage in a form of physical intimacy that is usually quite pleasurable (unless, of course, the suggestion is one that is physically impossible, like "go do yourself", which makes no sense at all, or is morally reprehensible, like "go do your [fill in the relative]"). Personally, I don't use such language or hand gestures. They are rude and for the most part I try to be as "non-rude" as I can be.
And then this line of thinking hearkens me back to a conversation I had with HTE and our brother about the meaning of words and the fundamentally moral value of words themselves. My point (and HTE did not fully agree at the time, and I would doubt she has changed her mind since then) was that words in and of themselves are worthless. They are merely sounds to which we have assigned sentiment and meanings, but that to other people, particularly other languages, these words are nothing more than random sounds. For that matter, the glyphs you are reading right now are no more than scratchings to which we have assigned meanings and associated sounds. For example, the sounds of that "evil" middle finger gesture word (yes, the "F" word) are used extensively in Vietnamese (I think it means noodle, and is Anglicized as "Phuk" or something like that). Sounds are neither evil nor good. They are just sounds. That does not give us license to go around spouting sounds that are offensive to those around us, but we should also not take offense at the sounds we hear.
In fact, we shouldn't take offense even when the sounds spouted are intended to offend us. I don't use nor care for the dreaded "F" word, but I don't flinch every time it is heard in my presence. If I were a teacher of children, then maybe I would try to curb such behaviors as a means of teaching social responsibility or manners or just better vocabulary skills. But I am not a teacher and so all I can do is be an example of one who speaks with more useful words. If the time ever presented itself that only the "F" word were appropriate, then I would use it. But I have yet to find such a time (although in an ancient Latin poem where the word was "Latinized" the usage is funny as it both rhymes and turns the phrase into a double entendre -- but that is a rare example).
The lesson for today -- learn all the words you can and use them to the utter disgust of everyone you meet. I have found that having a somewhat broad vocabulary gets me into trouble -- either I will use a word incorrectly or no one will have a clue what I am saying or both. But I think that is better than sounding like a Smurf.
