More than twice this past week someone has commented to me (in response to something I've said), "Thanks, I really needed to laugh today." And I am happy to bring a little chuckle to people every now and then. Sometimes I can be quite funny (yes, accountants can be funny). But I started to think about how many people commented that they needed to laugh. Is it just me or is it sad that so many people are lacking in happiness, or at least joviality, in their lives? Maybe it is just this season of the year when the weather turns colder and the skies turn darker and the holiday stress beats down upon us.
And yet, shouldn't now be the season for happiness? Shouldn't now be the season for laughter and jovial fun? Shouldn't now be the time to laugh with friends and family, even if it is just to observe how human and funny we all are? Shouldn't now, when we celebrate the birth of our Savior, King, Lord and Redeemer be the time when our burdens are lifted and our hearts are lighter? I didn't say that we should be silly or light-minded. Indeed, there is never really a right time for light-mindedness (though there are times for some silliness now and then). But we should have lightened hearts, as opposed to heavy hearts.
(Speaking of silly, while my family and I were in New Orleans this past month, my sister and I were walking down the grand staircase in our hotel. For some reason we both started to race each other to the bottom. About 5 or 6 stairs from the landing, I got the idea to jump, and thus beat her to the bottom. She had the exact same idea at the exact same time. We both hit, rather hard, the cement and tile landing at the same time and broke out laughing. We also both realized that we were no longer as young as we once were and that the landing did jar our legs and feet a bit more than we would have liked. Of course, this realization made it all the more funny.)
I am reminded of a desire I once had to write a book about happiness. I was taking time off between changing jobs and I thought to write down my impressions on living and achieving a happy lifestyle. I was very young (and idealistic) and I am sure my book would have sounded like so much rehashed tripe. But the point is that I have thought for a long time that we in this country (and maybe in many parts of the world) do not know how to be happy. We search for happiness everywhere and never seem to find it. We attend seminars, lectures, retreats, and buy books, devices, herbs, and medicines and yet we still aren't satisfied (I did recognize the monetary incentive to writing such a book -- it is a billion dollar industry and I wanted a piece of it). Maybe we need to look more inside than outside.
We say we relax and yet we don't. When was the last time you turned off ALL of the electronic devices that command your attention and actually relaxed? No phones (cell or otherwise), faxes, pagers, PDAs, TVs, radios, computers, lights (I'll explain in a minute), video games, or appliances of any sort. If you listen right now you should be able to hear the various hums of those machines. Even if you conscientiously don't listen to them, that noise is always there. The lights in my office, the computers, the fridge, and the heater are only a few of the sounds that I can hear right now. And they are CONSTANTLY on. They are destroying our hearing. They are giving us headaches. And they make us agitated with their low level humming. Why do you automatically feel more peaceful in the forest? Might I suggest that the lack of electronic humming is a key to relaxation? Has our dependence on and use of technology helped us lose, or at least misplace, our happiness, maybe even our sanity?
Every so often we need to relax. And every so often we need to laugh. Many studies have shown that laughter is good for us. It makes us feel better by releasing endorphins into our brains and bloodstream. Laughing increases the amount of oxygen in our blood, which helps us think, breath, pump blood, digest, etc. And it is great exercise for the abdominals and diaphragm.
So why do we deprive ourselves of these things? Why do we stress ourselves out and then seek out "recreational" activities that make us even more tired as opposed to invigorated?
I say it is time to stand up and laugh! Don't just sit there reading this gibberish! Stand up, take a deep breath, and let a belly busting burst of laughter come forth! Arise and Be Happy!
And then tell a good joke to someone, because chances are, they are in need of a laugh, too.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
The Worst Season is Over
Most people don't understand that tax accountants have two busy seasons -- April and October (or March and September for those who concentrate on corporate tax). October 15 is usually a difficult date for my firm (as it is for many others) as there are no more days for delay. No more extensions. No more tomorrows. No more anything. Which is also a good thing -- the deadline arrives, and like it or not, we're done.
Or at least we were, until this year. This year was the worst possible busy season ever. Up until now, October 2001 was the worst. In 2001, we were completing the 2000 year tax returns. The year 2000 was the last year of the Dot Com boom (the beginning of the end) and a lot of people made a lot of money in the late nineties and in 2000. The problem was that in 2001 they lost a lot of money. Budgets became very tight very quickly. People didn't want to pay for us to spend the time that we had to spend in order to get the more complicated 2000 tax returns correct. Added to this were a number of factors -- clients didn't want to think about the past and thus were late getting us the data; the data was late coming from other sources (partnerships, etc.); and then there was the emotional upheaval of September 11, 2001. Business as usual wasn't.
The night of October 15, 2001 we had clients waiting in our lobby. They were waiting for me to approve the calculations and press print on the returns so that they could sign them and then we would make a run to the airport post office, which is open until midnight. With only a few minutes to go, I still had three clients waiting. It was awful. The paper was so fresh from the printer as they signed their names that one client got a little burn on his finger.
We swore that we would never do that again. And for six years we were usually finished by October 14 (with a couple of fires to put out on the 15th). We were sure that with proper planning and hard work, we could always make it happen.
About a month ago, we thought this year might be more difficult than usual. But up until a week before the deadline, we thought we could handle it. But with seven days to go, we had 50 returns still to complete and the man hours required came to more hours than what was available in a week's time, and that was without accounting for sleeping and eating.
Our staff meeting was not a happy one. As I am the managing associate, I felt and received the majority of the blame for our impending doom. I had been working 12 to 18 hours a day for over a month and still we were in trouble. Again, several factors led us to this point -- clients procrastinating, late data from underlying partnerships (and VERY complex partnerships at that), the death of my boss' father-in-law (which took him out of commission for about a week), and a lack of staff (we have been short-handed all year). I went home the next morning around 6 or 7 and before collapsing into bed, prayed with all my heart for a miracle. I told God that I knew He could perform a miracle on our behalf, even if it meant sending an angel with a background in tax accounting to help. I was impressed to NOT ask for an angel to come down, which I thought was an odd impression, but I obeyed and simply replied that I knew that He knew our predicament and that I would leave it in His hands.
I arrived at the office around 3 pm later that day to find out that my associates had been on the phone calling in favors all morning. We would be receiving the help of two very qualified individuals for the better part of the week and most especially on the weekend. We had to pay them an exorbitant hourly rate, but we did so willingly, knowing that less profits for us was preferred to no profits at all (which would happen should we fail to provide the returns to our clients before the deadline). We prioritized the remaining clients by geography (furthest away got first attention as their returns needed time to get to them) and travel schedules (many were traveling around the deadline date).
That final week was very tough. But the bottom line is that we basically made it. There were three clients who did not get filed on October 15. All three agreed to file late, mostly because they knew that their tardiness in providing us the data had led them to this point. At the moment I am taking a break in between completing two of those clients (the third still owes us data, but is currently travelling in China for work).
Most importantly, though, I need to exclaim that our Father knows us, cares about us, and provides miracles in our lives. No, this miracle wasn't about feeding thousands with a single loaf of bread. Nor were any lame made to walk. But I didn't need to be healed of lameness, blindness, or hunger. I needed help of a different sort. And while it doesn't make for compelling writing or reading, it was a crisis in my life and He provided the miracle.
Of course, there are those who would say that the help came from friends and family. And they would be correct to a point. But what influence came into those friends' lives to prompt them to give up their nights and weekend to help us? Was it just the financial incentive? I don't believe that it was anything less than a caring Father in Heaven making the way possible for them to come to our assistance. And His plan was probably set into motion some time ago, as He already knew what I needed long before I asked. But He didn't inspire us to make those calls until it became desperate and I found myself on my knees pleading for a miracle.
There is a print of a painting in my home that depicts the Savior pulling Peter out of the water. This is the end of the "walking on the water" story in Matthew. I like this rendition as the artist shows the tendons and veins on the arms. Jesus' hold on Peter is not a limp handshake, but a grasp of His hand around Peter's outstretched forearm. There is desperation and strength and effort shown. It shows the Savior PULLING Peter out of the stormy water, not just lending him a hand for him to grab at (and maybe miss). And then comes the Savior's words, "Wherefore didst thou doubt?". Was this a rebuke regarding Peter's faith to walk on the water or was it a rebuke regarding his faith in the Savior to always be there for him? After this past month, I can at least apply the latter idea to my own life. Why did I doubt that He would help me, even when my problems, while large to me, are so small in comparison to world events and issues? Why do we not think that God cares about us individually and that He knows what we need and want, however insignificant in the grand scheme of life?
And yet that is the point of knowing our relationship with God. He is our Father. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my son, however trivial or odd. And I know that my own father would have done anything for me had I asked him. Well, then the words of the Savior come back to us -- Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? (Matt. 7:9-11)
So it is once again that I learn that God cares for me like a Father. I have always known this and yet these events in my life continue to bring this point home. Maybe that is what we (or at least I) need to learn -- we need to understand our relationship with God. We need to know that He cares about us, individually and personally. And that He knows our struggles and weaknesses and only wants us to succeed in life and beyond. I mean, what do you want for your children? What would make you the most happy to see them achieve or accomplish? So it is with our Heavenly Parents and with our Older Brother. I know how much I care for my siblings -- would Christ's love be any less? Of course not. In fact, it is a billion times more potent. I know that I am happy when I see my siblings succeed. Of course, Jesus is happy to see us succeed. And succeed in everything that we do in righteousness. It doesn't have to be just "church" work, but in all aspects of our lives. They want us to be whole and perfect. And that means in one's profession and in one's family and in one's standing with all of God's children and creations.
God grants miracles in our lives. They serve many purposes, but this one is common -- they confirm to us that He loves us. He has the means to save us, even from our own mistakes and foolishness. And He is always willing to do so. All we have to do is ask. Sometimes, like Peter, it is with desperation and a cry, "Lord, save me!" And sometimes the help comes with a loving rebuke, "Wherefore didst thou doubt?" But He is ALWAYS ready to grasp our arm and pull us from the stormy sea. All we have to do is ask.
Or at least we were, until this year. This year was the worst possible busy season ever. Up until now, October 2001 was the worst. In 2001, we were completing the 2000 year tax returns. The year 2000 was the last year of the Dot Com boom (the beginning of the end) and a lot of people made a lot of money in the late nineties and in 2000. The problem was that in 2001 they lost a lot of money. Budgets became very tight very quickly. People didn't want to pay for us to spend the time that we had to spend in order to get the more complicated 2000 tax returns correct. Added to this were a number of factors -- clients didn't want to think about the past and thus were late getting us the data; the data was late coming from other sources (partnerships, etc.); and then there was the emotional upheaval of September 11, 2001. Business as usual wasn't.
The night of October 15, 2001 we had clients waiting in our lobby. They were waiting for me to approve the calculations and press print on the returns so that they could sign them and then we would make a run to the airport post office, which is open until midnight. With only a few minutes to go, I still had three clients waiting. It was awful. The paper was so fresh from the printer as they signed their names that one client got a little burn on his finger.
We swore that we would never do that again. And for six years we were usually finished by October 14 (with a couple of fires to put out on the 15th). We were sure that with proper planning and hard work, we could always make it happen.
About a month ago, we thought this year might be more difficult than usual. But up until a week before the deadline, we thought we could handle it. But with seven days to go, we had 50 returns still to complete and the man hours required came to more hours than what was available in a week's time, and that was without accounting for sleeping and eating.
Our staff meeting was not a happy one. As I am the managing associate, I felt and received the majority of the blame for our impending doom. I had been working 12 to 18 hours a day for over a month and still we were in trouble. Again, several factors led us to this point -- clients procrastinating, late data from underlying partnerships (and VERY complex partnerships at that), the death of my boss' father-in-law (which took him out of commission for about a week), and a lack of staff (we have been short-handed all year). I went home the next morning around 6 or 7 and before collapsing into bed, prayed with all my heart for a miracle. I told God that I knew He could perform a miracle on our behalf, even if it meant sending an angel with a background in tax accounting to help. I was impressed to NOT ask for an angel to come down, which I thought was an odd impression, but I obeyed and simply replied that I knew that He knew our predicament and that I would leave it in His hands.
I arrived at the office around 3 pm later that day to find out that my associates had been on the phone calling in favors all morning. We would be receiving the help of two very qualified individuals for the better part of the week and most especially on the weekend. We had to pay them an exorbitant hourly rate, but we did so willingly, knowing that less profits for us was preferred to no profits at all (which would happen should we fail to provide the returns to our clients before the deadline). We prioritized the remaining clients by geography (furthest away got first attention as their returns needed time to get to them) and travel schedules (many were traveling around the deadline date).
That final week was very tough. But the bottom line is that we basically made it. There were three clients who did not get filed on October 15. All three agreed to file late, mostly because they knew that their tardiness in providing us the data had led them to this point. At the moment I am taking a break in between completing two of those clients (the third still owes us data, but is currently travelling in China for work).
Most importantly, though, I need to exclaim that our Father knows us, cares about us, and provides miracles in our lives. No, this miracle wasn't about feeding thousands with a single loaf of bread. Nor were any lame made to walk. But I didn't need to be healed of lameness, blindness, or hunger. I needed help of a different sort. And while it doesn't make for compelling writing or reading, it was a crisis in my life and He provided the miracle.
Of course, there are those who would say that the help came from friends and family. And they would be correct to a point. But what influence came into those friends' lives to prompt them to give up their nights and weekend to help us? Was it just the financial incentive? I don't believe that it was anything less than a caring Father in Heaven making the way possible for them to come to our assistance. And His plan was probably set into motion some time ago, as He already knew what I needed long before I asked. But He didn't inspire us to make those calls until it became desperate and I found myself on my knees pleading for a miracle.
There is a print of a painting in my home that depicts the Savior pulling Peter out of the water. This is the end of the "walking on the water" story in Matthew. I like this rendition as the artist shows the tendons and veins on the arms. Jesus' hold on Peter is not a limp handshake, but a grasp of His hand around Peter's outstretched forearm. There is desperation and strength and effort shown. It shows the Savior PULLING Peter out of the stormy water, not just lending him a hand for him to grab at (and maybe miss). And then comes the Savior's words, "Wherefore didst thou doubt?". Was this a rebuke regarding Peter's faith to walk on the water or was it a rebuke regarding his faith in the Savior to always be there for him? After this past month, I can at least apply the latter idea to my own life. Why did I doubt that He would help me, even when my problems, while large to me, are so small in comparison to world events and issues? Why do we not think that God cares about us individually and that He knows what we need and want, however insignificant in the grand scheme of life?
And yet that is the point of knowing our relationship with God. He is our Father. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my son, however trivial or odd. And I know that my own father would have done anything for me had I asked him. Well, then the words of the Savior come back to us -- Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? (Matt. 7:9-11)
So it is once again that I learn that God cares for me like a Father. I have always known this and yet these events in my life continue to bring this point home. Maybe that is what we (or at least I) need to learn -- we need to understand our relationship with God. We need to know that He cares about us, individually and personally. And that He knows our struggles and weaknesses and only wants us to succeed in life and beyond. I mean, what do you want for your children? What would make you the most happy to see them achieve or accomplish? So it is with our Heavenly Parents and with our Older Brother. I know how much I care for my siblings -- would Christ's love be any less? Of course not. In fact, it is a billion times more potent. I know that I am happy when I see my siblings succeed. Of course, Jesus is happy to see us succeed. And succeed in everything that we do in righteousness. It doesn't have to be just "church" work, but in all aspects of our lives. They want us to be whole and perfect. And that means in one's profession and in one's family and in one's standing with all of God's children and creations.
God grants miracles in our lives. They serve many purposes, but this one is common -- they confirm to us that He loves us. He has the means to save us, even from our own mistakes and foolishness. And He is always willing to do so. All we have to do is ask. Sometimes, like Peter, it is with desperation and a cry, "Lord, save me!" And sometimes the help comes with a loving rebuke, "Wherefore didst thou doubt?" But He is ALWAYS ready to grasp our arm and pull us from the stormy sea. All we have to do is ask.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Happy Birthday, Mom
Today is my mother's birthday (she is also turning 69 this year). I don't have enough time to discuss this event, but I wanted to note it and then in a couple of weeks I will know that I need to discuss my mother a little more. Suffice it to say that it is hard to find a good woman in this world -- I was blessed to be born to one, to have four others as sisters, and then I married the best one. I guess I am either very lucky or the adage is wrong -- good women abound. Maybe we men are just blind and stupid (that's probably it).
Monday, September 17, 2007
So Much To Do, So Little Time...
I can't believe how long it has been since my last post. I don't know if everyone has been waiting on pins and needles wondering whatever happened to me. More than likely, the few people who do look here just understand that life is sometimes very hectic.
On several occasions I have thought, "that would make a great topic to discuss on my blog" and then not done anything about it. Now that I am here I can't remember any of them.
So for right now, here is the deal -- I am busy beyond belief and that is as it should be. I am looking forward to going on a cruise with my family in November, which will hold a special treat in that my sister and I are trying to put together a winning talent show act (vocal duet to knock the audience over). We used to sing a lot together when we were teenagers. Time and distance have prevented us from repeating such experiences much, so this is something I am anticipating with joy. Hopefully, we will do well, but more importantly, we will enjoy it. She has an amazing voice and musical ability. This should be a lot of fun.
Fear not -- I will rant against all things stupid and disturbing later. But for today, suffice it to say that with one month to go before the drop dead filing date for individual tax returns, I can be found chained to my desk. Don't cry for me -- when the work is done there will be two months of relaxation. It is an odd job with an odd schedule, but I like it.
On several occasions I have thought, "that would make a great topic to discuss on my blog" and then not done anything about it. Now that I am here I can't remember any of them.
So for right now, here is the deal -- I am busy beyond belief and that is as it should be. I am looking forward to going on a cruise with my family in November, which will hold a special treat in that my sister and I are trying to put together a winning talent show act (vocal duet to knock the audience over). We used to sing a lot together when we were teenagers. Time and distance have prevented us from repeating such experiences much, so this is something I am anticipating with joy. Hopefully, we will do well, but more importantly, we will enjoy it. She has an amazing voice and musical ability. This should be a lot of fun.
Fear not -- I will rant against all things stupid and disturbing later. But for today, suffice it to say that with one month to go before the drop dead filing date for individual tax returns, I can be found chained to my desk. Don't cry for me -- when the work is done there will be two months of relaxation. It is an odd job with an odd schedule, but I like it.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Tag I'm It
Daredevil Mom tagged me because she is really interested in my answers. I'll try not to disappoint...
Four Jobs I Have Held
CPA Tax Accountant
BYU Student Teacher (International Relations)
Children's Computer Games Tester (that was a lot of fun - I still giggle at "Oh no, I can't get my nose out" - ask Daredevil Mom)
Assistant Manager at Domino's Pizza (I made the pizzas and delivered occasionally - once a party of late teenage girls asked me to come in and stay - for once in my life, I made the right choice and took my money and left)
Four Movie I Can Watch Repeatedly
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Cyrano de Bergerac (Gerard Depardieu version, in French)
Cinema Paradiso
The Magnificent Seven
But there are SO many others, like The Thin Man movies, Some Like It Hot, Bringing Up Baby, Arsenic And Old Lace, Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?, The Wizard Of Oz, The Incredibles (yes, the Pixar film), Citizen Kane, Frequency, The Great Escape, and Ben Hur (I have a DVD collection that can rival several video rental stores).
Four Places I Have Lived
Santa Clara, California
Provo, Utah
Chinju, South Korea
Sunnyvale, California
It is strange to think about where one has "lived". I experienced a lot of Life while touring in Europe at a teenager (study abroad for one month - and yes, sometimes it was study a broad - there was a somewhat torrid love affair that ensued - I said I experienced a lot of Life). But in retrospect, I grew up in my parent's home, I went to college in another state, I served a mission in another country, and then I returned to the city in which I was raised to pursue my career. It was never planned that way - I fully intended to move away (I interviewed with companies in Boston, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Dallas). But the best job opportunity was in the place I knew well. So why fight fate? I am not some hick who has never seen anything (no offense to those of you who may fall into that category) of this world. I just came full circle. Odd, but true.
Four Categories Of Television I Enjoy
"Freaky, Freaky Space Shows" (that is my wife's assessment of my viewing pleasures - I would call it Science Fiction - shows like Star Trek, Lost, Heroes, Smallville and Babylon Five - it is a very broad category)
British Science Fiction or Crime Dramas (separate from above -- this would include Doctor Who, Life on Mars, Hex, Torchwood, and Jonathan Creek)
Food Network Shows (especially Good Eats -- informative, fun, delicious)
Legal or Medical Dramas (Boston Legal, House, Shark)
There is a category of show I enjoy that is not well represented on TV -- the quirky and intelligent. This would include shows that often don't make it very long. Examples include "Studio 60", "Wonderfalls", "Monk", "Dead Like Me", "Sports Night", and (the most enduring of the bunch) "The West Wing". Obviously, I am a fan of Aaron Sorkin, David E. Kelly, and Bryan Fuller. They write scripts that are intelligent. The dialog is at once very serious and then very funny. And the fun is not laugh track, cheap joke funny. It is irony, quirkiness, the world turned sideways and exposed kind of funny. Maybe I'm just a snob (though I do have several guilty pleasures in my DVD collection). Or maybe I am just really tired of the pandering, LOWEST common denominator, inane, fluffy, and insipid wasteland that inhabits most of the channels today (especially during the summer months -- do they think that the more intelligent of the species have all gone to Europe for vacation? Maybe we should and leave the USA TV landscape to the chest-thumping, slope-headed, numb-skulls that the advertisers believe inhabit this land.). But enough of this...next question...
Four Places I Have Been On Holiday
Alaska (Ketchikan, Juno, Skagway)
Mexico (Acapulco, Puerto Vallarta, Cabo San Lucas)
Europe (study abroad / holiday -- not much difference) (England, France, Switzerland, Italy, Greece)
Crater Lake, Oregon
Four Favorite Dishes
Dinner Plate, Cow Creamer, Bread Plate, Gravy Boat :)
OK
Potatoes Au Gratin
Fillet Mignon
Strawberry Rhubarb Pie
Macaroni and Cheese
Unfortunately, while I really LOVE cheese, I'm finding that my system is becoming increasingly intolerant to processing it. My father was right...it is a bitch getting older.
Four Websites I Visit Daily
MyFamily.com
Yahoo Finance
My AOL Email
Daredevil Mom's Blog (although, she has been a little sparse in her postings of late -- maybe a bit busy with her acting, kids, job, life)
Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now
Lucerne, Switzerland
Juno, Alaska
My Endless Pool
Scotland (I've never been there, but I have always wanted to go)
Four People I Tag Next
Now this is a bit of a cop out, but as I do not know the people who read my blog, here is the deal: If your name isn't Daredevil Mom, you are tagged (I presume that there are no "tag backs" in this game of tag). Let me know who you are by posting a comment to this post and I will visit your blog and read what you have to say. Deal?
Four Jobs I Have Held
CPA Tax Accountant
BYU Student Teacher (International Relations)
Children's Computer Games Tester (that was a lot of fun - I still giggle at "Oh no, I can't get my nose out" - ask Daredevil Mom)
Assistant Manager at Domino's Pizza (I made the pizzas and delivered occasionally - once a party of late teenage girls asked me to come in and stay - for once in my life, I made the right choice and took my money and left)
Four Movie I Can Watch Repeatedly
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Cyrano de Bergerac (Gerard Depardieu version, in French)
Cinema Paradiso
The Magnificent Seven
But there are SO many others, like The Thin Man movies, Some Like It Hot, Bringing Up Baby, Arsenic And Old Lace, Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?, The Wizard Of Oz, The Incredibles (yes, the Pixar film), Citizen Kane, Frequency, The Great Escape, and Ben Hur (I have a DVD collection that can rival several video rental stores).
Four Places I Have Lived
Santa Clara, California
Provo, Utah
Chinju, South Korea
Sunnyvale, California
It is strange to think about where one has "lived". I experienced a lot of Life while touring in Europe at a teenager (study abroad for one month - and yes, sometimes it was study a broad - there was a somewhat torrid love affair that ensued - I said I experienced a lot of Life). But in retrospect, I grew up in my parent's home, I went to college in another state, I served a mission in another country, and then I returned to the city in which I was raised to pursue my career. It was never planned that way - I fully intended to move away (I interviewed with companies in Boston, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Dallas). But the best job opportunity was in the place I knew well. So why fight fate? I am not some hick who has never seen anything (no offense to those of you who may fall into that category) of this world. I just came full circle. Odd, but true.
Four Categories Of Television I Enjoy
"Freaky, Freaky Space Shows" (that is my wife's assessment of my viewing pleasures - I would call it Science Fiction - shows like Star Trek, Lost, Heroes, Smallville and Babylon Five - it is a very broad category)
British Science Fiction or Crime Dramas (separate from above -- this would include Doctor Who, Life on Mars, Hex, Torchwood, and Jonathan Creek)
Food Network Shows (especially Good Eats -- informative, fun, delicious)
Legal or Medical Dramas (Boston Legal, House, Shark)
There is a category of show I enjoy that is not well represented on TV -- the quirky and intelligent. This would include shows that often don't make it very long. Examples include "Studio 60", "Wonderfalls", "Monk", "Dead Like Me", "Sports Night", and (the most enduring of the bunch) "The West Wing". Obviously, I am a fan of Aaron Sorkin, David E. Kelly, and Bryan Fuller. They write scripts that are intelligent. The dialog is at once very serious and then very funny. And the fun is not laugh track, cheap joke funny. It is irony, quirkiness, the world turned sideways and exposed kind of funny. Maybe I'm just a snob (though I do have several guilty pleasures in my DVD collection). Or maybe I am just really tired of the pandering, LOWEST common denominator, inane, fluffy, and insipid wasteland that inhabits most of the channels today (especially during the summer months -- do they think that the more intelligent of the species have all gone to Europe for vacation? Maybe we should and leave the USA TV landscape to the chest-thumping, slope-headed, numb-skulls that the advertisers believe inhabit this land.). But enough of this...next question...
Four Places I Have Been On Holiday
Alaska (Ketchikan, Juno, Skagway)
Mexico (Acapulco, Puerto Vallarta, Cabo San Lucas)
Europe (study abroad / holiday -- not much difference) (England, France, Switzerland, Italy, Greece)
Crater Lake, Oregon
Four Favorite Dishes
Dinner Plate, Cow Creamer, Bread Plate, Gravy Boat :)
OK
Potatoes Au Gratin
Fillet Mignon
Strawberry Rhubarb Pie
Macaroni and Cheese
Unfortunately, while I really LOVE cheese, I'm finding that my system is becoming increasingly intolerant to processing it. My father was right...it is a bitch getting older.
Four Websites I Visit Daily
MyFamily.com
Yahoo Finance
My AOL Email
Daredevil Mom's Blog (although, she has been a little sparse in her postings of late -- maybe a bit busy with her acting, kids, job, life)
Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now
Lucerne, Switzerland
Juno, Alaska
My Endless Pool
Scotland (I've never been there, but I have always wanted to go)
Four People I Tag Next
Now this is a bit of a cop out, but as I do not know the people who read my blog, here is the deal: If your name isn't Daredevil Mom, you are tagged (I presume that there are no "tag backs" in this game of tag). Let me know who you are by posting a comment to this post and I will visit your blog and read what you have to say. Deal?
Friday, June 22, 2007
Happy Summer Soltice
Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of my father's passing. He was with my mother celebrating their 41st wedding anniversary in San Diego at a musical convention (Mom is an officer in her local chapter of the Music Teachers' Association of California). As I think I have mentioned before, he has a massive coronary while walking with my mother back to the hotel from a lecture on Beethoven Piano Sonatas. A couple of hours later, I received a phone call from my little brother who was near hysterical and I had to go into "Big Brother To Action" mode. There was much that had to be taken care of and there were those who looked to me to do it. So I did. My little brother was worried that I didn't get a chance to properly grieve. I did get that chance, but it was some time later and in my own way. Some things are done best alone.
Before they left for San Diego, Dad called me to say they were going. I thought it odd at the time as they were only to be gone for an extended weekend, but I appreciated the phone call nonetheless. I ended it by saying that I would see him when he got back. I did. And I have seen him since (but those are stories for another post).
Normally, you would expect that I spent at least part of yesterday visiting his grave site. I didn't. I did think about him a bit and I did wish my mother "Happy 46nd Wedding Anniversary" (to which she responded, "Has it really been that long?"). But, to put it tritely, life moves on. I had work to do. We attended my nephew's baptism yesterday evening (my wife and I were asked to give the prayers and Mom spoke on the importance of baptism). I am sure that my father was a proud grandfather looking in on his grandson's baptism.
A lot happened five years ago. Besides my father passing away, two of my sisters got divorced. The events weren't related, but they did occur during that "Year From Hell". The younger of those sisters, with her two young sons, moved in with my mother. The little brother mentioned above and his wife were already living there and the resulting influx of bodies led to some very unpleasant emotions being unleashed. It took several months (closer to a couple of years) to at least stop the bleeding, let alone heal the wounds.
Five years ago, in December, I was called to be my ward's financial clerk, a church calling I have enjoyed more than almost any other I've had.
Near the end of December, the little pickup truck that my father loaned me $8,000 to buy while I was in college (and which I paid him back within my first year out of college), died. I was headed to work and it just stopped. The mechanic said that the on-board computer was fried. The cost to even diagnose the issue (including knowing whether or not the rest of the electrical system was shot) was much more than the value of the vehicle. I donated the 13 year old friend to a charity and bought a Prius (and I still love my "new" car).
Five years ago, my wife and I had to fight the school system to get our son into an autism class. We had to visit a medical specialist who gave a medical diagnosis of autism in order to convince the short-sighted administrators of what we knew best as parents. That being that our son was not and would not be able to cope in the regular "special learning" classes they shoved him into. He was so over-stimulated by the stuff hanging from the ceiling and posted on the walls and spewing from the teacher and aides that he daily broke down, spun in a circle, cried and then hid in a corner of the room (face to the wall). In the end, we pulled him from the school program entirely, learned more about autism, and with medical diagnosis in hand (and a little help from the Regional Center) got our son into the County Autism Program. He has excelled ever since and is considered by all of his teachers and therapists as one of the best students they have ever had. Yes, I am a proud father, but I can show you the official records to back me up. :)
Five years ago today I was dealing with death, grief, sorrow, sadness, pain, and confusion (i.e. "what do we do now?"). Since then I have given seminars on what to do when a loved one dies. With the immense help of my wife, I created a checklist to use for that event and I have let Bishops and many others use it to help others cope with this very common event. I am at a point in my life where my older friends and relatives are beginning to cross over to the other side of existence. Five years ago, I learned how to deal with this first hand and since then I have been able to help dozens of others deal with the same.
Five years ago my father died. Am I wallowing in grief today? No. As I said, life goes on. Both mine and his.
Before they left for San Diego, Dad called me to say they were going. I thought it odd at the time as they were only to be gone for an extended weekend, but I appreciated the phone call nonetheless. I ended it by saying that I would see him when he got back. I did. And I have seen him since (but those are stories for another post).
Normally, you would expect that I spent at least part of yesterday visiting his grave site. I didn't. I did think about him a bit and I did wish my mother "Happy 46nd Wedding Anniversary" (to which she responded, "Has it really been that long?"). But, to put it tritely, life moves on. I had work to do. We attended my nephew's baptism yesterday evening (my wife and I were asked to give the prayers and Mom spoke on the importance of baptism). I am sure that my father was a proud grandfather looking in on his grandson's baptism.
A lot happened five years ago. Besides my father passing away, two of my sisters got divorced. The events weren't related, but they did occur during that "Year From Hell". The younger of those sisters, with her two young sons, moved in with my mother. The little brother mentioned above and his wife were already living there and the resulting influx of bodies led to some very unpleasant emotions being unleashed. It took several months (closer to a couple of years) to at least stop the bleeding, let alone heal the wounds.
Five years ago, in December, I was called to be my ward's financial clerk, a church calling I have enjoyed more than almost any other I've had.
Near the end of December, the little pickup truck that my father loaned me $8,000 to buy while I was in college (and which I paid him back within my first year out of college), died. I was headed to work and it just stopped. The mechanic said that the on-board computer was fried. The cost to even diagnose the issue (including knowing whether or not the rest of the electrical system was shot) was much more than the value of the vehicle. I donated the 13 year old friend to a charity and bought a Prius (and I still love my "new" car).
Five years ago, my wife and I had to fight the school system to get our son into an autism class. We had to visit a medical specialist who gave a medical diagnosis of autism in order to convince the short-sighted administrators of what we knew best as parents. That being that our son was not and would not be able to cope in the regular "special learning" classes they shoved him into. He was so over-stimulated by the stuff hanging from the ceiling and posted on the walls and spewing from the teacher and aides that he daily broke down, spun in a circle, cried and then hid in a corner of the room (face to the wall). In the end, we pulled him from the school program entirely, learned more about autism, and with medical diagnosis in hand (and a little help from the Regional Center) got our son into the County Autism Program. He has excelled ever since and is considered by all of his teachers and therapists as one of the best students they have ever had. Yes, I am a proud father, but I can show you the official records to back me up. :)
Five years ago today I was dealing with death, grief, sorrow, sadness, pain, and confusion (i.e. "what do we do now?"). Since then I have given seminars on what to do when a loved one dies. With the immense help of my wife, I created a checklist to use for that event and I have let Bishops and many others use it to help others cope with this very common event. I am at a point in my life where my older friends and relatives are beginning to cross over to the other side of existence. Five years ago, I learned how to deal with this first hand and since then I have been able to help dozens of others deal with the same.
Five years ago my father died. Am I wallowing in grief today? No. As I said, life goes on. Both mine and his.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Just Deserts
I think I'll blame McDonald's for this "we deserve" attitude that is so prevalent today. Go ahead -- sing it with me -- "You deserve a break todaaaay...at McDonald's". There are a lot of things wrong with the world in general today, and I'm inclined to blame McDonald's for a lot of them (but I'll have a diatribe about McDonald's another time).
But this attitude of "I deserve this or that" really rankles me. It is a selfish attitude that excuses the speaker of all sorts of ill behavior under the overriding theory that the he/she is somehow entitled to behave this way. I've got news for you, America, you don't DESERVE anything! "I deserve a new car." No, you don't. What you deserve is to be rewarded for responsible behavior. A new car is not a right -- it is a privilege that carries responsibilities that must be obeyed. "I deserve to spend my money frivolously because I earned it." No, you don't. You deserve nothing -- you earned the money and can now choose to spend it how you wish, but you don't deserve anything.
On the last Home Makeover program that I saw (the season ending episode -- very touching story and gave me a lot to think about), Ty tells this woman that she "deserves" this house. I agree that this woman, who had sacrificed a lot in order to take care of four boys (two of which were born with HIV), was an amazing example of self sacrifice and love. She had, out of pure kindness, adopted these three boys (the fourth was her own) and provided a home for them as best she could and suffered all kinds of discrimination and meanness from others. It breaks ones heart to think that there are those who would discriminate against children, even to the point of issuing death threats and bodily injury, just because they were born with a disease. Granted, HIV is scary and not well understood, but that is no reason to ostracize a child or an innocent angel who cares for that child.
I agree that this woman had done wonderful things and was deserving of praise and emulation. But the statement that she deserved a house fell on me like a spiked ball (it stung but then rolled off). And I thought again about what is it that we deserve. According to Jefferson and the Founding Fathers, we are endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights, including the rights to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness (or the opportunity to rise or fall according to our own industry). The original draft actually included the word Property instead of Pursuit of Happiness. I am not sure who decided that the wording should be changed, but I agree with that change. Property, or the ownership of property, is not a right of this citizenship. We believe in the free market system (with all its faults) that allows one to own property if they can find a way to afford it. The right to Property is thus earned and paid for.
So did this wonderfully generous woman earn the right to the property? I don't think so. She earned our respect and she is an example that others should follow, if not in deeds then at least in attitude. But she didn't earn the property. She didn't "deserve" it. That ABC was willing to reward her for her selflessness and give her this marvelous gift is laudable; although, ABC and its sponsors make money on this show -- the market system still rules here. That is not to say that I think they should stop. On the contrary, anyone with the means can afford to be generous and should be generous. And it usually transpires that by doing generous acts, the individual, group or company is more than compensated (either in monetary property or some other blessing) for their efforts.
Maybe I'm just being pedantic. Maybe she does, in a way, deserve some reward for her love. But I think that her reward is actually more closely related to her actions. She took care of these boys -- in the days and years to come, they will take care of her. And maybe, their story that touched the heart-strings of America (and thus made for very good TV) is how they helped to take care of her. Maybe.
As for the rest of you who just think that you are entitled to property (be it cars, jewels, houses, possessions of any kind, leisure time, higher salary, etc.), you need to start thinking. And then think again. You are entitled to nothing but what you earn from the sweat of your brow. And if your works are such that your deserts are not what you would want, then you need to review and revise your works. Ultimately, the lazy man will not eat the bread of the worker. The foolish will not be allowed admittance to the wedding supper. The sinner has no place in the Kingdom.
Of course, that leads me back to King Benjamin (grab a Book of Mormon if you don't know about him) and his statement about us all being beggars. Yes, in the end none of us deserves a place in the Kingdom. Paul explicitly put it -- We are all sinners and fall short. Justice would demand that we get our just deserts. And we deserve less than eternal bliss. But Mercy does intercede and He rewards those who are worthy of it. We don't deserve His Mercy, but he gives it to us anyway. He wants to give us this gift -- not because we deserve it but because He can purchase with His wealth what He wants. And He wants us to be happy and rewarded. Think about that for a while and then realize that our selfish attitude of deserts is out of sync with what is really true.
But this attitude of "I deserve this or that" really rankles me. It is a selfish attitude that excuses the speaker of all sorts of ill behavior under the overriding theory that the he/she is somehow entitled to behave this way. I've got news for you, America, you don't DESERVE anything! "I deserve a new car." No, you don't. What you deserve is to be rewarded for responsible behavior. A new car is not a right -- it is a privilege that carries responsibilities that must be obeyed. "I deserve to spend my money frivolously because I earned it." No, you don't. You deserve nothing -- you earned the money and can now choose to spend it how you wish, but you don't deserve anything.
On the last Home Makeover program that I saw (the season ending episode -- very touching story and gave me a lot to think about), Ty tells this woman that she "deserves" this house. I agree that this woman, who had sacrificed a lot in order to take care of four boys (two of which were born with HIV), was an amazing example of self sacrifice and love. She had, out of pure kindness, adopted these three boys (the fourth was her own) and provided a home for them as best she could and suffered all kinds of discrimination and meanness from others. It breaks ones heart to think that there are those who would discriminate against children, even to the point of issuing death threats and bodily injury, just because they were born with a disease. Granted, HIV is scary and not well understood, but that is no reason to ostracize a child or an innocent angel who cares for that child.
I agree that this woman had done wonderful things and was deserving of praise and emulation. But the statement that she deserved a house fell on me like a spiked ball (it stung but then rolled off). And I thought again about what is it that we deserve. According to Jefferson and the Founding Fathers, we are endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights, including the rights to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness (or the opportunity to rise or fall according to our own industry). The original draft actually included the word Property instead of Pursuit of Happiness. I am not sure who decided that the wording should be changed, but I agree with that change. Property, or the ownership of property, is not a right of this citizenship. We believe in the free market system (with all its faults) that allows one to own property if they can find a way to afford it. The right to Property is thus earned and paid for.
So did this wonderfully generous woman earn the right to the property? I don't think so. She earned our respect and she is an example that others should follow, if not in deeds then at least in attitude. But she didn't earn the property. She didn't "deserve" it. That ABC was willing to reward her for her selflessness and give her this marvelous gift is laudable; although, ABC and its sponsors make money on this show -- the market system still rules here. That is not to say that I think they should stop. On the contrary, anyone with the means can afford to be generous and should be generous. And it usually transpires that by doing generous acts, the individual, group or company is more than compensated (either in monetary property or some other blessing) for their efforts.
Maybe I'm just being pedantic. Maybe she does, in a way, deserve some reward for her love. But I think that her reward is actually more closely related to her actions. She took care of these boys -- in the days and years to come, they will take care of her. And maybe, their story that touched the heart-strings of America (and thus made for very good TV) is how they helped to take care of her. Maybe.
As for the rest of you who just think that you are entitled to property (be it cars, jewels, houses, possessions of any kind, leisure time, higher salary, etc.), you need to start thinking. And then think again. You are entitled to nothing but what you earn from the sweat of your brow. And if your works are such that your deserts are not what you would want, then you need to review and revise your works. Ultimately, the lazy man will not eat the bread of the worker. The foolish will not be allowed admittance to the wedding supper. The sinner has no place in the Kingdom.
Of course, that leads me back to King Benjamin (grab a Book of Mormon if you don't know about him) and his statement about us all being beggars. Yes, in the end none of us deserves a place in the Kingdom. Paul explicitly put it -- We are all sinners and fall short. Justice would demand that we get our just deserts. And we deserve less than eternal bliss. But Mercy does intercede and He rewards those who are worthy of it. We don't deserve His Mercy, but he gives it to us anyway. He wants to give us this gift -- not because we deserve it but because He can purchase with His wealth what He wants. And He wants us to be happy and rewarded. Think about that for a while and then realize that our selfish attitude of deserts is out of sync with what is really true.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Happy Birthday, Father
Today, April 30, 2007, my father would have turned sixty-nine. Apart from the overt references this number implies, I have always liked it -- I like things that have double entrendres attached to them. They are funny. But the number itself is also just interesting -- any number that is the same upside-down as upside-up is interesting to me. Similarly, I like words that read the same backwards as forwards (palindromes for those of you who are wondering). And the reason I mention these things, is that I acquired this taste for words and numbers from my father.
The turn of a phrase is a beautiful thing. And Dad loved to hear them, read them, and speak them. Being the eldest son in my family I think I got to see a side of my father that my siblings may not have had the opportunity to see. As an adult we did things together, including vacationed together (taking my wife and my mother along), participated in an investment club, served on Boy Scout Committees together, provided the music for the Priesthood Meetings on Sunday, and we communicated as equals (or more appropriately as those who respect the experiences and opinions of each other).
But to the point of today's musing, my father showed me the humor in words, numbers and people. We secretely smiled during the Sunday organ postlude music, noting that the beautiful "hymn" being played was in fact an operatic aria sung to a tree (see "Xerxes"). There is a line in a movie that to the question, "Do you have any money?" the responder states, "We have sufficient for our needs." On many levels, this is a very profound answer and one we should strive to understand and apply to our lives (either as an incentive to provide for more or as an attitude of being able to need less). But the humor is that the responder has no money at all, yet the response is accurate as he has no need for any.
I found myself seeing the beauty of the phrase turn in the Bible yesterday in Sunday School. The subject was the passage in Matthew where the Savior states, "Thou are Peter and upon this rock I will establish my church". The verse is widely misunderstood to mean that Jesus established His church on Peter -- and to an extent that interpretation is the basis for the authority of many churches today. But not only do they not understand the true meaning of the verse (the rock He references is the testimony that Jesus is the Christ, which is obtained by the Spirit -- thus, the rock of revelation about the bedrock of the Savior's calling), but in so missing the point, they miss the beauty of the turn of the phrase. Christ is employing a literary tool in order to make a point in a clever manner. It is marvelous. Yet, few people see it. If you look you will see that Christ does this with the language constantly (it helps to note the Hebrew as sometimes the sublties are unfortunately lost in the translation to English). He is a poet -- a title not often used in reference to Jesus. But if He provided for great poets in former and latter days, wouldn't He Himself also appreciate a good phrase? Where do you think all of those Psalms and Proverbs come from? If not God, whom?
I believe that my father taught me that if your addition of a series of numbers is off by a multiple of nine, you have mistakenly transposed one of the numbers in the series (all transpositions are divisible by nine). Granted, I surpassed his math education when I was a sophmore in high school, but that didn't mean he had nothing more to teach me. And more to the point, he and I could enjoy the equations and machinations together. He used to subscribe to "Games" magazine and while I wasn't always able to solve the problems, we had fun thinking about them together.
This pattern of spending time together and learning things started very early in my life. I can remember sitting on his lap reading the TV Guide with him when I was five-years-old. He would giggle that I could pronounce words like "emergency" and "psycologist" just fine, but would stumble on "broad" (I said "board") or "loading zone" (I said "landing zone" which made for an interesting visual image at the entrance of that particular building). I didn't have dyslexia -- my eyes were just reading too fast for my tongue.
He introduced me to Science Fiction and James Bond and so many other worlds. Someday, when my time to cross into the next life comes, I fully expect him to be there to help introduce me to that new world as well.
So, Happy Birthday, Father. You are sixty-nine -- let the giggling commence. Tomorrow is my birthday (I was born the day after my father's 29th birthday -- so you can do the math and realize why birthdays are on my mind). I'm not sure what I will do to celebrate -- maybe I should find a good book to read to my son.
The turn of a phrase is a beautiful thing. And Dad loved to hear them, read them, and speak them. Being the eldest son in my family I think I got to see a side of my father that my siblings may not have had the opportunity to see. As an adult we did things together, including vacationed together (taking my wife and my mother along), participated in an investment club, served on Boy Scout Committees together, provided the music for the Priesthood Meetings on Sunday, and we communicated as equals (or more appropriately as those who respect the experiences and opinions of each other).
But to the point of today's musing, my father showed me the humor in words, numbers and people. We secretely smiled during the Sunday organ postlude music, noting that the beautiful "hymn" being played was in fact an operatic aria sung to a tree (see "Xerxes"). There is a line in a movie that to the question, "Do you have any money?" the responder states, "We have sufficient for our needs." On many levels, this is a very profound answer and one we should strive to understand and apply to our lives (either as an incentive to provide for more or as an attitude of being able to need less). But the humor is that the responder has no money at all, yet the response is accurate as he has no need for any.
I found myself seeing the beauty of the phrase turn in the Bible yesterday in Sunday School. The subject was the passage in Matthew where the Savior states, "Thou are Peter and upon this rock I will establish my church". The verse is widely misunderstood to mean that Jesus established His church on Peter -- and to an extent that interpretation is the basis for the authority of many churches today. But not only do they not understand the true meaning of the verse (the rock He references is the testimony that Jesus is the Christ, which is obtained by the Spirit -- thus, the rock of revelation about the bedrock of the Savior's calling), but in so missing the point, they miss the beauty of the turn of the phrase. Christ is employing a literary tool in order to make a point in a clever manner. It is marvelous. Yet, few people see it. If you look you will see that Christ does this with the language constantly (it helps to note the Hebrew as sometimes the sublties are unfortunately lost in the translation to English). He is a poet -- a title not often used in reference to Jesus. But if He provided for great poets in former and latter days, wouldn't He Himself also appreciate a good phrase? Where do you think all of those Psalms and Proverbs come from? If not God, whom?
I believe that my father taught me that if your addition of a series of numbers is off by a multiple of nine, you have mistakenly transposed one of the numbers in the series (all transpositions are divisible by nine). Granted, I surpassed his math education when I was a sophmore in high school, but that didn't mean he had nothing more to teach me. And more to the point, he and I could enjoy the equations and machinations together. He used to subscribe to "Games" magazine and while I wasn't always able to solve the problems, we had fun thinking about them together.
This pattern of spending time together and learning things started very early in my life. I can remember sitting on his lap reading the TV Guide with him when I was five-years-old. He would giggle that I could pronounce words like "emergency" and "psycologist" just fine, but would stumble on "broad" (I said "board") or "loading zone" (I said "landing zone" which made for an interesting visual image at the entrance of that particular building). I didn't have dyslexia -- my eyes were just reading too fast for my tongue.
He introduced me to Science Fiction and James Bond and so many other worlds. Someday, when my time to cross into the next life comes, I fully expect him to be there to help introduce me to that new world as well.
So, Happy Birthday, Father. You are sixty-nine -- let the giggling commence. Tomorrow is my birthday (I was born the day after my father's 29th birthday -- so you can do the math and realize why birthdays are on my mind). I'm not sure what I will do to celebrate -- maybe I should find a good book to read to my son.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it is all about?
Daredevil Mom said some things that I have been thinking about a lot lately as well (I need to figure out how to link to her post...). She mentioned that various thoughts had been plaguing her mind and she just had to write them down. When I am in the middle of tax season (like now), the same thing happens to me. Random, often persistent and sometimes embarassing, thoughts return to me again and again. Maybe it is just my mind's way of rebelling against the constant barrage of tax returns and number crunching. I have relived old relationships (both the good and too often the bad), bemoaned the loss of contact with best friends over the years, thought about my father (particularly his relatively early exit from life due to a heart attack), tried to repent of past missteps, and revisited the promises I've made to my wife and son about being more available. And, of course, my best tax planning ideas come to me as I try to wake up in a hot shower (I have always found that to be very odd, but that seems to be where inspiration has cast its conduit in my house -- the master bath shower stall).
I have been able to make good (for at least a few weeks so far) on one promise -- even during my busiest time of year, I have been sure to be home by 6 ish on Fridays. This has been a good thing for many reasons. I am going to keep it up for as long as the busy season will allow (I imagine that come the first two weeks of April, I won't even know if it is Friday or not, let alone be home).
In the end, we have to choose what is most important and do it. There are a lot of good and bad things that clammor for our time. Make your choices and be ready to take the consequences. I chose to lose weight by joining Jenny Craig. I've lost nearly 40 pounds in the past year. But the downside is that I have become so accustomed to the low fat, low sodium, low calorie diet that when I do indulge, I become physically ill -- my body can't take it. Oh well. I have spent many years helping to develop a very successful tax practice. The downside is that outside of my immediate family I have no time for socializing activities. And my family is wonderful and I wish I had more time to spend with my brothers and sisters (their visits during the holidays are usually when I am buried with year-end tax planning).
Is it wrong to want it all? No, but it is unreasonable. There are 24 hours for every day. No more, no less. You do not have any more or less time than any other person on the planet. But how you choose to spend those hours, while completely up to you, will determine what you can accomplish. For Daredevil Mom, I say she is doing very well, especially as she is a single mother of 3 girls who are entering the teenage years (my hat is off to her -- I hope she realizes how much of an inspiration she truly is). She made choices. Some of the consequences of her choices are long lasting (i.e. parents take note -- children are yours eternally -- the consequences, while absolutely wonderful, are also long lasting). I chose to be an accountant many years ago -- the consequences are both lucrative and time consuming. Knowing that this life is what I chose actually makes it easier to do. I chose to be a parent. I have a strong feeling that in the pre-mortal realms I chose to accept being the father of a very sweet, but also developmentally challenged, little boy. If I were given that choice again, I'd make it the same way. I love being his father. The consequences are sweet and fulfilling, as well as frustrating at times. My wife and I have trouble leaving him with babysitters (mostly due to a lack of qualified individuals) and thus our "dates" are usually family outings. That isn't necessarily a problem, but I have pined to have more traditional moments with my spouse. No complaints; no regrets; just consequences of choices made.
Don't get me wrong -- I enjoy being a tax accountant, a father, a busy person. It is just that on March 22 at 2:30am, I'm a little tired. But writing tonight has helped to put the mind monsters back into their cages for at least a few moments.
I have been able to make good (for at least a few weeks so far) on one promise -- even during my busiest time of year, I have been sure to be home by 6 ish on Fridays. This has been a good thing for many reasons. I am going to keep it up for as long as the busy season will allow (I imagine that come the first two weeks of April, I won't even know if it is Friday or not, let alone be home).
In the end, we have to choose what is most important and do it. There are a lot of good and bad things that clammor for our time. Make your choices and be ready to take the consequences. I chose to lose weight by joining Jenny Craig. I've lost nearly 40 pounds in the past year. But the downside is that I have become so accustomed to the low fat, low sodium, low calorie diet that when I do indulge, I become physically ill -- my body can't take it. Oh well. I have spent many years helping to develop a very successful tax practice. The downside is that outside of my immediate family I have no time for socializing activities. And my family is wonderful and I wish I had more time to spend with my brothers and sisters (their visits during the holidays are usually when I am buried with year-end tax planning).
Is it wrong to want it all? No, but it is unreasonable. There are 24 hours for every day. No more, no less. You do not have any more or less time than any other person on the planet. But how you choose to spend those hours, while completely up to you, will determine what you can accomplish. For Daredevil Mom, I say she is doing very well, especially as she is a single mother of 3 girls who are entering the teenage years (my hat is off to her -- I hope she realizes how much of an inspiration she truly is). She made choices. Some of the consequences of her choices are long lasting (i.e. parents take note -- children are yours eternally -- the consequences, while absolutely wonderful, are also long lasting). I chose to be an accountant many years ago -- the consequences are both lucrative and time consuming. Knowing that this life is what I chose actually makes it easier to do. I chose to be a parent. I have a strong feeling that in the pre-mortal realms I chose to accept being the father of a very sweet, but also developmentally challenged, little boy. If I were given that choice again, I'd make it the same way. I love being his father. The consequences are sweet and fulfilling, as well as frustrating at times. My wife and I have trouble leaving him with babysitters (mostly due to a lack of qualified individuals) and thus our "dates" are usually family outings. That isn't necessarily a problem, but I have pined to have more traditional moments with my spouse. No complaints; no regrets; just consequences of choices made.
Don't get me wrong -- I enjoy being a tax accountant, a father, a busy person. It is just that on March 22 at 2:30am, I'm a little tired. But writing tonight has helped to put the mind monsters back into their cages for at least a few moments.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Black History Month
"To truly provide equality we must celebrate our differences." This is a paraphrase from a very respected performer, whose life story I am reading. He was raised in a suburb of Baltimore, worked his craft from childhood through high school, got a break to be a regular on a local TV show and then a national TV show in New York (living in various rent places, including Hell's Kitchen, which was an improvement over where he had been), got movie offers he had to turn down in order to fulfill prior commitments, and eventually became a huge international star, complete with a plush toy that was the Christmas gift that made everyone go crazy. The performer is Kevin Clash - the forty-six-year-old, six-foot, deep voiced, African-American male who is the hand and voice inside of Elmo. He was a puppeteer from the age of 4 or 5 and has made hundreds of puppets and Muppets that have delighted children and adults for about 40 years.
As the USA turns its attention to Black History Month and commercials and specials loom at us from every corner, I sometimes feel a little strange, like I'm being force-fed a dish that is supposed to be good for me. I do not consider myself a racist. In fact, I like to think that I am quite colorblind. It is true that I grew up in a middle class Northern California suburb in a middle class family. But being in California, our neighborhood and schools were not predominately any color -- during my senior year, the high school basketball team's starting line up had four different races (one white, two black, one Mexican, one Chinese). And the short Chinese kid was the one who could dunk the ball!
But the fact that I do recognize differences of race, religion, color, sex, sexual orientation, etc. makes me wonder if I am not as open minded or colorblind as I would like to believe. There has always been a nagging little voice inside my head (one that I suppress as often as possible) that says things like, "Why isn't there a White History Month, too?" Maybe there should be. Or maybe there shouldn't have to be a need to have any kind of Color History Month. Maybe we should be learning, understanding, praising, and celebrating all of the colors ALL of the time. If our schools and our places of worship and our inward thoughts have to be channeled by a Congressional Decree, then maybe we have a lot further to go than we would like to think.
When we study history, we should study ALL of the history. All of the stories, the good and the ugly, have much to teach us. The Blacks, the Whites, the Christians, the Mormons (who are also Christian, but segregated in this list for the sake of illustration), the Jews, the Chinese, the Japanese, the Indians, the Muslims, the straight and the gay have all suffered, have all triumphed, have all had moments of great glory, have all had moments of great shame, and should all be understood. And the same can be said for any other group that I have not listed here. We shouldn't pretend that any part of it didn't happen (there were slaves from many nations forced to work here and many of our ancestors were both kind and cruel). We can't forget the sacrifices of those of all races, religions, etc. There were those who fought for the underdog who were not the same color as the underdog. There were those who stood up to oppression, often with deadly consequences. We must celebrate all of those who fought for justice and a better life.
Why can't we feel good about being different? Why can't we be comfortable celebrating with our brothers? Why can't we invite our brothers to celebrate with us?
The pettiness has to end. The "I'm right and thus you are wrong" has to end. The "we are great and thus you are not" has to end. That such foolish thoughts exist at all is mind boggling to me. I may not be perfectly colorblind, but I do know that we are all human. We are all brothers and sisters. The blood that flows through my veins is the same color as every other person on this planet. If we are any color at all, we are all hemoglobin red.
And from a religious standpoint, I am becoming more aware of the perfect sublimeness, subtleness, and awesome concept of the Fatherhood of God and the Brotherhood of Man (that would be the generic Man as in Humankind). We are, in a very literal way, brothers and sisters -- a family. There is nothing more nor less than this. And maybe like any family we have squabbles with each other; we don't always agree; we don't always like to get along. But in the end, we are a family that has to love each member or else we will not survive.
So Happy Black History Month! Here's to being different, unique and a beloved brother. The hurts and pains of the past should be forgiven, but not forgotten. And the heroes of this world should be celebrated -- not just today or during this month, but always. Please allow me to celebrate with you and please know that you are always welcome to celebrate with me.
As the USA turns its attention to Black History Month and commercials and specials loom at us from every corner, I sometimes feel a little strange, like I'm being force-fed a dish that is supposed to be good for me. I do not consider myself a racist. In fact, I like to think that I am quite colorblind. It is true that I grew up in a middle class Northern California suburb in a middle class family. But being in California, our neighborhood and schools were not predominately any color -- during my senior year, the high school basketball team's starting line up had four different races (one white, two black, one Mexican, one Chinese). And the short Chinese kid was the one who could dunk the ball!
But the fact that I do recognize differences of race, religion, color, sex, sexual orientation, etc. makes me wonder if I am not as open minded or colorblind as I would like to believe. There has always been a nagging little voice inside my head (one that I suppress as often as possible) that says things like, "Why isn't there a White History Month, too?" Maybe there should be. Or maybe there shouldn't have to be a need to have any kind of Color History Month. Maybe we should be learning, understanding, praising, and celebrating all of the colors ALL of the time. If our schools and our places of worship and our inward thoughts have to be channeled by a Congressional Decree, then maybe we have a lot further to go than we would like to think.
When we study history, we should study ALL of the history. All of the stories, the good and the ugly, have much to teach us. The Blacks, the Whites, the Christians, the Mormons (who are also Christian, but segregated in this list for the sake of illustration), the Jews, the Chinese, the Japanese, the Indians, the Muslims, the straight and the gay have all suffered, have all triumphed, have all had moments of great glory, have all had moments of great shame, and should all be understood. And the same can be said for any other group that I have not listed here. We shouldn't pretend that any part of it didn't happen (there were slaves from many nations forced to work here and many of our ancestors were both kind and cruel). We can't forget the sacrifices of those of all races, religions, etc. There were those who fought for the underdog who were not the same color as the underdog. There were those who stood up to oppression, often with deadly consequences. We must celebrate all of those who fought for justice and a better life.
Why can't we feel good about being different? Why can't we be comfortable celebrating with our brothers? Why can't we invite our brothers to celebrate with us?
The pettiness has to end. The "I'm right and thus you are wrong" has to end. The "we are great and thus you are not" has to end. That such foolish thoughts exist at all is mind boggling to me. I may not be perfectly colorblind, but I do know that we are all human. We are all brothers and sisters. The blood that flows through my veins is the same color as every other person on this planet. If we are any color at all, we are all hemoglobin red.
And from a religious standpoint, I am becoming more aware of the perfect sublimeness, subtleness, and awesome concept of the Fatherhood of God and the Brotherhood of Man (that would be the generic Man as in Humankind). We are, in a very literal way, brothers and sisters -- a family. There is nothing more nor less than this. And maybe like any family we have squabbles with each other; we don't always agree; we don't always like to get along. But in the end, we are a family that has to love each member or else we will not survive.
So Happy Black History Month! Here's to being different, unique and a beloved brother. The hurts and pains of the past should be forgiven, but not forgotten. And the heroes of this world should be celebrated -- not just today or during this month, but always. Please allow me to celebrate with you and please know that you are always welcome to celebrate with me.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Initial Musings
This is a new adventure. I have no idea how often I will update this blog or what I will even talk about. If you are looking for the exceptional, I won't promise you will find it here. But I have been interested in just having a place to write my musings. If you find them interesting, great. If you want to comment, great. If you want to ignore me, great.
As the profile states, I'm an accountant. I specialize in tax accounting. I am married and have a son who has Down Syndrome and is Autistic. Yes, initially that would seem to be a strange combination, but we have found that it is not uncommon. There is evidence to suggest that both are linked to genetics. There has been a lot of talk about "finding a cure" for Autism. I will probably have to devote some time to that subject in a future post, but let me just note for now that there are no "cures". There are ways of understanding, methods for coping, and techniques for lessening the more destructive characteristics. But one does not "cure" something that is not a disease. And to say that Autism is a disease insults me for some reason. My son doesn't get insulted -- he just ignores you. But I feel insulted by the insensitive comments that are perpetuated by the uninformed and/or the ignorant. I won't say that I know everything, in spite of what my siblings will claim that I have boasted. But I will say that I try to learn before I speak too loudly. I am not always perfectly informed, but I do try. I guess I should be more tolerant of those who are also trying. I should probably be more tolerant of those who are not trying, too.
My life so far has been eclectic. While I am a tax accountant, I am also a musician (I sing and I used to play the trumpet fairly well -- the time to pursue all of my interests no longer exists and thus I no longer make the time to practice the trumpet, which is an informed decision, but one that does make me sad at times) and a lover of good books and good movies (and some not so good movies, but ones that are a lot of fun -- call them guilty pleasures). I have lived in or traveled to several different countries and am recently finding a great pleasure in taking cruises through NCL -- our family vacations have been to Alaska and Mexico recently and we would like to go to Europe and cruise through the Baltic capitals some day soon.
I am sure that more of my interests, lifestyle, background, family, and opinions will surface as we continue this journey of ramblings. But I will end for the moment as time is always going to be a major factor in this adventure.
But speaking of time, I will close with this thought -- we all have the same amount of time. What we choose to do with it is up to us. To say that we don't have time for this or that is just plain asinine -- what we must recognize is that we have time to do whatever we want. It is all a matter of choices. How we spend our time is our decision to make. Sometimes our past decisions monopolize our current time allotments, but again, we still made a choice at one point or another, for better or for worse.
As the profile states, I'm an accountant. I specialize in tax accounting. I am married and have a son who has Down Syndrome and is Autistic. Yes, initially that would seem to be a strange combination, but we have found that it is not uncommon. There is evidence to suggest that both are linked to genetics. There has been a lot of talk about "finding a cure" for Autism. I will probably have to devote some time to that subject in a future post, but let me just note for now that there are no "cures". There are ways of understanding, methods for coping, and techniques for lessening the more destructive characteristics. But one does not "cure" something that is not a disease. And to say that Autism is a disease insults me for some reason. My son doesn't get insulted -- he just ignores you. But I feel insulted by the insensitive comments that are perpetuated by the uninformed and/or the ignorant. I won't say that I know everything, in spite of what my siblings will claim that I have boasted. But I will say that I try to learn before I speak too loudly. I am not always perfectly informed, but I do try. I guess I should be more tolerant of those who are also trying. I should probably be more tolerant of those who are not trying, too.
My life so far has been eclectic. While I am a tax accountant, I am also a musician (I sing and I used to play the trumpet fairly well -- the time to pursue all of my interests no longer exists and thus I no longer make the time to practice the trumpet, which is an informed decision, but one that does make me sad at times) and a lover of good books and good movies (and some not so good movies, but ones that are a lot of fun -- call them guilty pleasures). I have lived in or traveled to several different countries and am recently finding a great pleasure in taking cruises through NCL -- our family vacations have been to Alaska and Mexico recently and we would like to go to Europe and cruise through the Baltic capitals some day soon.
I am sure that more of my interests, lifestyle, background, family, and opinions will surface as we continue this journey of ramblings. But I will end for the moment as time is always going to be a major factor in this adventure.
But speaking of time, I will close with this thought -- we all have the same amount of time. What we choose to do with it is up to us. To say that we don't have time for this or that is just plain asinine -- what we must recognize is that we have time to do whatever we want. It is all a matter of choices. How we spend our time is our decision to make. Sometimes our past decisions monopolize our current time allotments, but again, we still made a choice at one point or another, for better or for worse.
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