You can leave your sanity outside -- life is crazy in here.
I've wanted to write for some time. I really wanted to write on Leap Day since it doesn't come around very often. I even started a post and then the computer ate it (no, really, the screen blipped and my writing was gone -- I guess I wasn't meant to say those things).
The other day my sister, wife and I (with others in the room commenting as they could) had a conversation about addictions. She was saying something that I have agreed with since I saw the movie "What The Bleep Do We Know?" My wife didn't like the film, but I found it to be very interesting. One point that was brought up was that addiction is a brain chemical reaction -- certain behaviors trigger a chemical reaction in our brains that after a while our brains crave. Thus, we become addicted to the behavior. This wasn't new to me, but the twist that I liked was that the behavior didn't have to be the usual cadre of addictions (tobacco, alcohol, narcotics, caffeine, chocolate, sex, etc.). Some, in fact many, people become addicted to certain attitudes, be they good or bad, because the same chemical reaction occurs.
I'm sure you have met that person who is never happy unless she is complaining (forgive me if that sounded sexist by making the person female -- very unintentional). In fact, she is never happy, period. And you wonder why she is always complaining. It is because she is addicted to a negative behavior. And while she isn't happy when she is complaining, her brain is getting that chemical stimulus that it craves. Thus, she HAS to complain or she will go through withdrawal symptoms.
I find this fascinating. And my sister did, too (as far as I could tell). She mentioned that she didn't think that she had ever been addicted to anything. I referenced a time in her life when she was very depressed and was complaining often, even seeking sympathy from any and all, and made the point that she could have been addicted to being depressed at that time. I don't think that she liked my thought and I hope I didn't offend her. But I do wonder if when we are in deep depression, which she was (and we should all give her a break due to the circumstances of those months -- she lost a father and a husband in rapid succession), if our brains don't start to feed on that depression and begin to crave it more, or at least crave the chemical reaction that is stimulated by the depressive thoughts flooding in.
Could this be why the best cure for depression seems to be to do something for someone else? If we starve the brain of its chemical fix, we have to literally replace that "high" with something else. Service to others and the love we receive from the recipient and from the Spirit is a powerful alternative drug to depression (or any other addictive attitude). As I watched my sister go from depressed lump to vibrant single working mother, I noticed that she helped to overcome her depression through service to others, including her sons, her extended family, her church callings, and her work. She works in early childhood education and while that is a place not reserved for this Accounting Man, she seems to thrive there (and more power to her).
Whether she agrees with me or not, I think my sister overcame her depression and her addiction to it through service and hard work. "Forget Yourself" is good advice to any and all, but especially I think to those who can do nothing but feel down. If we can turn towards others, and in a very real way, turn towards our Savior, depression will have no place in our world. And our brains will stop craving it and start to crave the high of serving others and feeling good about them and us.
What a marvelous thing this body is! It may take an eternity to get it to a state of perfection because it is such a complicated thing. But the interesting point is that when we subject the physical to the spiritual, the physical follows along very nicely and both are exalted.
2 comments:
Don't worry, you didn't offend me. But you did give me a lot to think about that night. It was a huge blow to learn that I may have had addictive tendencies to feed a horrible feeling I thought I couldn't ever get rid of, despite the fact that all I wanted was to be free of it! For many years I have almost prided myself on the fact that my divorce was due to the addictive behaviors of my ex-husband; behaviors I could never begin to understand and which I have never and will never share. And yet because of those behaviors I was spiralled into what I now know to be an addiction myself! (And by the way, not only did I lose my father and husband within two weeks of each other, but also my home, all my friends, my security, and my pride.)
And how did I FINALLY manage to free myself of it? First of all, time played a big role, but not big enough. If healing was only about giving yourself time, then there would be a whole lot more happy people in the world. No, it was more about pulling myself out little by little with the help of good friends in the church, a fabulous bishop, my amazing, patient, and undeserved family, and yes, service to others. Teaching young children takes an unselfish attitude. But it was more about serving my friends and family than anything else. And let's not forget the service we do every time we go to the temple. Those were and still are precious times for me. I never lost my testimony, but I did struggle with feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth. And thanks to the love I constantly felt from my Savior, my Father in Heaven, and our other father (who is now in heaven), I was able to overcome those horrible (and addictive!) feelings.
Thanks, Accounting Man for your insight. Love you!
--the sister
I'm glad to know that our discussion was helpful. The more we understand this body, and addictions in particular, the better we can overcome the flesh. I don't buy into every new-age philosophical blabber the is being flapped about these days, but somethings do ring true and this was one of them, I think.
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