Daredevil Mom said some things that I have been thinking about a lot lately as well (I need to figure out how to link to her post...). She mentioned that various thoughts had been plaguing her mind and she just had to write them down. When I am in the middle of tax season (like now), the same thing happens to me. Random, often persistent and sometimes embarassing, thoughts return to me again and again. Maybe it is just my mind's way of rebelling against the constant barrage of tax returns and number crunching. I have relived old relationships (both the good and too often the bad), bemoaned the loss of contact with best friends over the years, thought about my father (particularly his relatively early exit from life due to a heart attack), tried to repent of past missteps, and revisited the promises I've made to my wife and son about being more available. And, of course, my best tax planning ideas come to me as I try to wake up in a hot shower (I have always found that to be very odd, but that seems to be where inspiration has cast its conduit in my house -- the master bath shower stall).
I have been able to make good (for at least a few weeks so far) on one promise -- even during my busiest time of year, I have been sure to be home by 6 ish on Fridays. This has been a good thing for many reasons. I am going to keep it up for as long as the busy season will allow (I imagine that come the first two weeks of April, I won't even know if it is Friday or not, let alone be home).
In the end, we have to choose what is most important and do it. There are a lot of good and bad things that clammor for our time. Make your choices and be ready to take the consequences. I chose to lose weight by joining Jenny Craig. I've lost nearly 40 pounds in the past year. But the downside is that I have become so accustomed to the low fat, low sodium, low calorie diet that when I do indulge, I become physically ill -- my body can't take it. Oh well. I have spent many years helping to develop a very successful tax practice. The downside is that outside of my immediate family I have no time for socializing activities. And my family is wonderful and I wish I had more time to spend with my brothers and sisters (their visits during the holidays are usually when I am buried with year-end tax planning).
Is it wrong to want it all? No, but it is unreasonable. There are 24 hours for every day. No more, no less. You do not have any more or less time than any other person on the planet. But how you choose to spend those hours, while completely up to you, will determine what you can accomplish. For Daredevil Mom, I say she is doing very well, especially as she is a single mother of 3 girls who are entering the teenage years (my hat is off to her -- I hope she realizes how much of an inspiration she truly is). She made choices. Some of the consequences of her choices are long lasting (i.e. parents take note -- children are yours eternally -- the consequences, while absolutely wonderful, are also long lasting). I chose to be an accountant many years ago -- the consequences are both lucrative and time consuming. Knowing that this life is what I chose actually makes it easier to do. I chose to be a parent. I have a strong feeling that in the pre-mortal realms I chose to accept being the father of a very sweet, but also developmentally challenged, little boy. If I were given that choice again, I'd make it the same way. I love being his father. The consequences are sweet and fulfilling, as well as frustrating at times. My wife and I have trouble leaving him with babysitters (mostly due to a lack of qualified individuals) and thus our "dates" are usually family outings. That isn't necessarily a problem, but I have pined to have more traditional moments with my spouse. No complaints; no regrets; just consequences of choices made.
Don't get me wrong -- I enjoy being a tax accountant, a father, a busy person. It is just that on March 22 at 2:30am, I'm a little tired. But writing tonight has helped to put the mind monsters back into their cages for at least a few moments.
